Blessed hands

Remember I mentioned there's something about us Rinomhotas, we put our minds to something and we give it our all. Well, the reason for this is, it's all in the hands, that's right, the blessed hands.

Side note. I have always been fascinated by our hands, I think our hands are our signature. Wherever we go, I can spot a Rinomhota hand even in a sea of hands. Our hands are so distinct and look so alike that sometimes I can't tell us apart, I really can't. We all have long graceful fingers, the kind that when you shoo a fly you look like you're conducting an orchestra. It's true, you should see it, not the fly of course. I think my father was right in nagging encouraging us to learn/play the piano whenever we were home, our hands were made for it. It's a shame I have just realised this when there's no piano in sight and I really don't have room for one even if there was, well that's another story. Right, where was I? Ah yes, the fabulous Rinomhota hands. 

The first time I noticed our hands was when my father was drumming on the hood of the car waiting for some delivery person to load the car when he was taking me to school. Let me give you some background. My father hums and sings almost all the time when he's in his own world. Seriously, all the time for as long as I can remember. If you sit back, relax and just wait, you'll hear him go off on this "heeya heeya wo" song, yup that's what I call it, the "heeya heeya" song. I'm sure my siblings would corroborate the existence of this song in a court of law. I should ask him one of these days what that song is about. Ok, let me come back, I tend to go off on a tangent, begging your pardon. So when my father was drumming/tapping on the car, that's when I noticed his hands looked much like mine with the dark knuckles (that's another signature sign, dark knuckles). After that, I would look at my brothers' and sisters' hands and noticed how our hands had this look about them. Yes, I know we share DNA so surely we should have similar hands, but that's just it, our hands are not just similar, they're so similar I could mistake my sister's hands for my own in a hand line-up, really. But it's not just the similarity that strikes me, it's what these hands can do and have done.   

I call them blessed hands because through them, by them, in them lies enormous talent with amazing output. 

Give us a tree and we'll make firewood
Give us flour and we'll make bread
Give us cloth and sew a dress
Give us a concept and a website will emerge
Give us an idea and we'll write a book
Give us wood and we'll make a carving
Give us soil and a garden will bloom
Give us land and a house will rise

We, Rinomhotas give a whole new meaning to, turning lemons into lemonade.

Whatever is put in front of us, we will make something amazing out of it. It's what we do. 

Amen to blessed hands
PS# We're not perfect, but we do try our best. 

Favourites

You know how parents say they have no "favourite child"? Well, there's a little untruth in that, especially when it comes to big families. There's almost always a favourite, maybe definitely not the same child every time although there are those that take to the podium more often than others.

Exhibit 1
As I write this post, my lovely parents are fast approaching the end to an 11hr road trip to drop off their last born, the sweet peach, at grad school. Yup, that's right, 11hrs of driving across a state or 2 or 3. Given the evidence before you, one can reasonably conclude that this time, on this occasion, the little sis is the favourite although the parents would never, ever admit to that. 

There's a reason I say all this. Most of us went to boarding school in primary and high school and when it came time for school, we were taken to the bus station, bags packed and bus fare in hand and dropped off at respective departure bays. You would be lucky, I say very lucky to get waved off let alone being driven 11hrs there.  

So compare and contrast the 2 paragraphs above....I'll leave that for you to mull over.

Exhibit 2
If you hear my parents say, so and so "is so much like" their first-born, then you can find the highest point in town (a hilltop would be most ideal), run up and scream "I have arrived!!!". Being likened to my first sister, well, it doesn't get any bigger or better than that. Don't get me wrong, my brothers and sisters are pretty amazing but the first is the trend setter, the ever smiling hardworker and high achieving in every sense. If I'm ever likened to my sister, I will quit everything and live off that compliment. 

She's had it the hardest being the first child, that's not an easy task with high expectations on when she crawled, walked, uttered her first words, went to school, the first parent-teacher meeting, high school, college, first job and every other milestone there is. Imagine living with that around your shoulders. Eishh that's not easy.  

So one could argue, she's my parents' favourite in some most instances but I think she has earned it. Of course if you told her and them, they wouldn't believe you but trust me, it's true. 

In case you're wondering, my parents say they do not have a favourite, they love us all the same and all their children have their strengths and weaknesses. It's what parents are supposed to say. 

Yes, the youngest one can get away with just about anything while the first sets the way for the rest of us...I think I speak for all my siblings when I say, we wouldn't have it any other way.  

Oh don't worry, there's a part 2 to follow, there are 8 kids, a lot of favourites...but that's a post for another day. 

Parenting 101 - Rinomhota-style

So recently, conversations with my friends often have phrases like;
"my parents would never let me do that..."
"oh no, no way, they would disown me..."
"I can't imagine my parents not saying something about that..."

Well, all this chatter has led me to think about my parents and what they would object to or what would literally raise their blood pressure enough for me to say one of those phrases above. It took a lot of thinking.

Ok, so, my parents have a very interesting way of parenting, it's not something I have seem in other families so I have come to believe it is unique to us Rinomhotas. My parents hardly ever say no to something, nor do they "forbid" you to do something. Instead they talk you into submission, that's right, they talk and talk and talk and talk some more. That's the big secret to my parents' style of parenting. 

Case in point, when my father doesn't like something, he sits you down and tells you all he thinks about it, how awful it could be for one your position and uses a thinly veiled analogy or two and then he'll give an example of someone he knew once who had an issue that is somewhere similar (sometimes it's quite a stretch), this could be very remote but he'll find a similarity somewhere in there. And then he will end his thoughts based on a Bible story or two. At no point during this whole time does he say he does not approve, he will say anything and everything except the fact that he thinks what you're about to do if a bad move. I know this seems a short discussion between parent and child, but oh no it is not, this can last a good hour or so and sometimes it lasts hours over a number of days of course. By the time he is done, all you want to say is "ok, I'll do it your way". This is what happens when my father talks you into submission. 

Second case. One of my friends recently brought to my attention that when I don't like something, I make this disapproving noise, it's not quite a grunt or sigh but somewhere in between. She says, she knows then before I say anything that I don't approve. I didn't know this about myself and now that I know, I look back at times I spent with my mother, I think that's where I got it. My mother, like my father, rarely says she doesn't agree with something, instead she does this thing with her mouth and eyebrows, in fact it's her whole face. It's hard to explain, but picture it as a mother saying "uh uh" with all the muscles and nerves in her face, all except her mouth. I'm sure you get the idea. When the disapproving look fails, she goes to strategy number 2, the guilt trip. When all else fails, my mother ends with the phrase, "oh well, what does it matter, I'm only your mother". Yup, that's it, that's all she has to say to remind you how much power she has over you. As soon as she says that, one gets this overwhelming guilt that makes you change your mind on your convictions and do it her way. Whatever path you had set your mind on changes as soon as those words are uttered. Once again, note the absence of the word "no". My parents rarely use that word. 

Those new age parenting authors have nothing on the Rinomhotas, my parents practically wrote those books well before those authors where out of their diapers, correction, well before they were born. You want to know true parenting, ask the couple that has 8 children across the world, all of whom have turned out to be productive individuals in their own right. All of whom will jump at their parents' request even from thousands of miles away (with the power of Skype of course). 

Don't get me wrong, my parents are still human and yes they will use the word "no" and express their disapproval towards mine and my siblings actions, they will only do so when they tire of talking you into submission and they don't tire easily, after raising 8 children, it takes a lot to get them to resign to anything. Sometimes, just sometimes, my parents won't say a word, no talking, no looks, no guilt trips, not a word. They just sit back and let you learn for yourself. Hey, they're human, I didn't say they're perfect. 

When that fails, they tell one of us to tell the other. It goes like this, "can you talk to your brother".    

The moral of the story, don't use the word "no" with your kids, just talk them into submission, trust me, I'm the 6th of 8 children, it works. Don't believe me? Ask my parents... 

Cheers to Beginnings

My sister just graduated, she's the youngest, the last of the pack, the little sweetheart and the one that gets away with pretty much anything and everything. 

My sister graduated the same time a year ago. No, not the one above, a different sister. The first in the family, the trend setter, the experiment, the rock, the patient, hardworking ever smiling one. 

Yes, we are a family of high-achievers, what can I say, we come from good crop. No, I'm not going to go through the whole history of the Rinomhotas, it could take a while. 

Where was I? Ah, yes, we are one of those families who give their very best at what they do. If you ask one of us to chop down a tree, that tree will come down by sunset even if it means one has to walk away with blisters that will put a logger to shame, back when they used axes, of course. We put our all into what we do, you'll soon see what I mean, as the saga that is my family unfolds. And the funniest thing, our parents are not the typical pushy parents, they have a  

With the first and the last graduating with flying colours, one can't help but feel this over whelming sense of pride for them realising their dream and beginning new chapters. One thing I know for sure, whatever endeavour they take on next, it'll result in something amazing, they don't do things by halves my sisters, they go all out!!!

Cheers to you sisters!!!!